Week 34 conclusion: "The Happiest Place on Earth"

Currently, I'm sitting in the lobby of the Grand Floridian Hotel at Disney, waiting for Colt to finish with his gig. He was asked to play the reception after the wedding of some friends of his who were getting married at the Wedding Pavilion. He had to leave early this morning to set up, so I opted to sleep in a little bit, instead of spending the morning/afternoon waiting in the lobby. The parents of the bride put us up at a lovely Disney hotel called Coronado Springs last night, so we didn't have to make the trip up from Tampa this morning. We met Colt's cousin, Scott, who works for Disney at the gates to Magic Kingdom last night, and he gave us free park hopper passes! Colt and I had a great time walking around the parks, looking at the Christmas lights and people watching. We rode two rides at Epcot...the ride that's in the Epcot ball (forget the name) and the "Norway ride". Haha! I had never been on it before, but I think Colt knew the dialogue word for word to my amusement. He did a lot of acting when he was a child, and filmed a few commercials at Epcot, hence the freakish knowledge. :) We agreed if I had gone into labor on the Norway ride, we would have changed the name of the baby to "Sven". Our trip to Disney got me thinking of my last trip to the parks with my family. I think I was about 17 or 18, and my parents took the family to Disney for Brian Jr.'s birthday. We had a great time together. As I sit here in the lobby, reminiscing about family vacations gone by, and watching happy families round up their children, and wrangle their strollers and backpacks up, I think about how quickly time passes by. When you're young, time moves so slowly. Imagining yourself with a spouse, and a family of your own seems like a fantasy, or something in the distant future. I can remember my last Disney, family vacation like it was yesterday, and thinking how romantic it would be to go there with my husband someday. Walking through the park last night with my husband, I was thinking how strange it would be that next time I come to Disney World, I will be the mother, in one of those families that I watched when I was younger. Its even stranger (if thats a word) to think how our parents must feel! It probably feels like just yesterday that they were walking around the park with their small children, which makes me aware of how quickly time will pass by before Colt and I are the ones hearing about our children's family vacations to Disney with their new families! We didn't come here a lot when I was a kid, and perhaps that's why the trips that we did make, mark a certain time period in my life. There is a family sitting close to me right now, with a couple of daughters who are about the age that I was at the last time I was here with my family. I sit across the room from them today, hopefully a little bit wiser than I was at 17, and I know that although they may be grateful for a vacation together, they almost can't help but take it for granted. When you're 17, the only vacations you really know are family vacations. You take it for granted that you won't always be travelling with them. It may seem silly, but this trip was the first time I've ever been responsible for getting myself from my hotel to the parks! I had to take a Disney bus from my hotel, to Magic Kingdom, and then take the monorail from there to the Grand Floridian in order to wait in the lobby for Colt. I am 24 years old, and almost 9 months pregnant with my first child, and I was worried that I would get lost, or someone would "steal me" as Colt likes to phrase it. I guess no matter how old I get, or what milestones I hit, there will always be a little girl inside me somewhere. That in itself is an interesting thought, knowing that now, I am actually going to be responsible for a child. There are still so many things about life that I know nothing about, and so much advice that I don't have to give yet. I know, I know, you learn as you go, but its still a daunting thought at times to know that there will be situations as a parent where I won't know what to do. I know my parents must have come across these circumstances when we were younger, as I'm sure all parents do, but they did a good job of not letting us know that they were clueless. I guess part of being a parent is putting up a calm, secure front, even if you are scared out of your mind.

If I'm going to take the time to write something, I would prefer it to be something that is profound in some way, or an original thought. I'm not necessarily trying to be "different" but if I'm going to invest the time, why would I want to echo the same old thoughts and ideas? I realize that the "coming-of-age story" of a person finding out they have more in common with their parents than they ever realized, is not original at all, but it is profound in its own way. It may not be profound to everyone, but it is for the individual. Anytime you can understand someone else better on a human level, you gain wisdom. Up until a certain age, you view your parents as "the answer havers", or at least I have. Don't get me wrong, I still go to them for advice all the time, and I still think they know everything, but the older I get, especially on the cusp of becoming a parent myself, I've realized that a lot of the advice I've gotten over the years has probably been their best guess. This is strangely comforting to me, because in the coming years, when our children are expecting Colt and I to be the "know all, be all" of the family, we can give them the knowledge that we have, and then, hopefully be wise enough to give them a good guess. :)

So far, throughout this pregnancy, I have been pretty confident in my parenting skills. I really wouldn't describe myself as a worrier in any aspect of my life. My philosophy has always been, if I make the wrong decision, I can deal with the consequences. Roll with the punches. It will be interesting to see how I feel when I hold the baby for the first time, and it hits me that we (Colt and I) are solely responsible for this human. If he falls down and skins his knee, he will run to us. If he disobeys or is disrespectful, we are the ones that have to decide how to discipline. I was telling someone just the other day, sometimes I feel like saying, "Who is allowing me to have a child?!? I am still a child!" No one seems to be alarmed, so obviously I'm doing something right. Haha! I think this is a pretty normal thought, even for people who are much older than me, having their first child. When you've never been faced with this type, or this much responsibility, you wonder how you'll rise to the occasion. I'm confident that I will, and I'm looking forward to discovering the ways I'll grow as a woman, and as a human in general. I can't wait to see Colt as a father. I expect that will be one of the greatest joys of my life. Well I think that is enough introspection for one post.

I wrote 3/4 of this post on Tuesday, and the other 1/4 today (Wednesday), and today marks week 35! The rest of week 34 was uneventful, other than Disney. I suppose one new thing to report would be that when I sleep on my side now, I can feel body parts moving inside me, and it can feel as though I'm laying on the baby, which is weird! I think he has run out of room in there. Also, the baby may have "dropped" due to all of the walking at Epcot, although I'm not sure. I don't know what its supposed to feel like.

December 23rd is a special day in our house because today, three years ago, Colt proposed to me! It was one of the happiest days of my life. Being married to Colt has proven to me that it IS possible to love someone more and more each day. He has made marriage and my life in general better than I could have ever imagined. As I've told him in the past, even if nothing particularly happy or extraordinary ever happens in my life again, I would be content and satisfied, knowing that my marriage to him has been happy, and extraordinary enough for a thousand lifetimes, and expecting anything more would be greed. So I will sign off this post wishing you all a happy and extraordinary holiday with your loved ones! Thanks for reading!