Truth be told, there are many uncomfortable (and downright
painful) parts of labor, and after labor that tend to slip your mind after you
make it out of that crazy first six weeks with a newborn. You quickly remember them as you begin to go
through them again but nothing, and I mean NOTHING compares to, or can dull the
joy that she has brought into my life over the past few months.
This delivery was different from both of my previous
experiences. I was induced with Cash at
38 weeks exactly, because of high blood pressure. We went to the hospital the
night before the induction on a Tuesday, and stayed through Friday. The labor
itself was a great experience for a first timer. I only pushed for 40 minutes, and he was there,
all 7lbs. 8oz. of him. When I left, my hormones were so crazy from labor,
breastfeeding, and the horrible anxiety I felt before the induction NOT TO
MENTION all of the stress of being a new, first time parent. I loved LOVED Cash, but I was weepy on and
off, and extremely exhausted. With Beckett,
I went into labor at 39 weeks 4 days. I went to the hospital with regular
braxton hicks. They sent me home saying that I hadn't progressed but I was back
about 6 hours later. They admitted me, and I had another great birth
experience. He was 9lbs. 14.5 oz! I had
no emotional issues with him afterwards, and life was back to normal pretty
quickly. Even though he was bigger, I healed easier with him than I did with
Cash.
This time, I was being induced because of Bellamy's single
umbilical artery. I was 39 weeks 2 days
for my induction. It was scheduled for
3am! That Sunday (the day before) we went to church in the morning, and had a
relaxing afternoon at home for most of the rest of the day. If I ever have to
spend any kind of time anticipating a big event, I am usually so beside myself
with anxiety I am nauseated for the duration of the wait. That had been the
thing I had been praying about the most besides Bellamy and I's overall health.
I can't stand feeling anxious or nauseated (especially nauseated). I'm never surprised per se when my prayers
are answered, but still always amazed. I
felt so good the days before the induction, compared to how I thought I was
going to feel. I was excited-anxious
instead of fearful-anxious. I wasn't
throwing up (which is almost always a side effect of my extreme anxiety), and I
wasn't even really nauseated. Sunday
evening, we took a drive as a family, and Colt and the boys got Chipotle for
dinner down on Westshore. I had to eat light because of the induction, so I had
some rice. We came home, put the boys to bed and I tried not to think about how
that was the last time I would see them as only two siblings. I made myself some pasta to try and fill my
stomach up before my 12am cut off time for food. After my 11:30pm snack I tried to lay down
and rest for a while. It wasn't happening, so I got up and got in the
shower. By the time I finished packing
my bag, put on some makeup, dried my hair and threw on some clothes, it was
almost time to leave. I took some time by myself to pray and get my thoughts
together, and proceeded out of the bedroom to help Colt pack the car up. My mom, sister and father arrived around
2am. Daddy stayed with the boys while
they slept and was going to bring them up to the hospital the next morning.
Emilee, my mom and Colt were my labor coaches.
We had a fun drive up to the hospital talking and joking around. When we pulled down the street that led to
the hospital, I got quiet. It was “go
time”. When we arrived they had me fill
out some paperwork and wait for a bed to open up. Apparently it was a big day
for babies. Finally we got called up. We
were led up to the room by a very fast walking sign-in lady who introduced us
to our nurse. I changed into my gown and got into the bed. The nurse came in and made some small talk.
She seemed excited to hear that it wasn’t my first rodeo. She asked about the boys and my labor
experiences with both of them. She said
she would be back to start my Pitocin. In the meantime, we scrolled through the
“On Demand” movies that the hospital offered and chose “Just Go With It” with
Adam Sandler. I asked her how long the
Pitocin would take to kick in and when I would start feeling painful
contractions. I couldn’t remember from my experience with Cash because the
Cervadil they had given me the night before had already caused me some cramping
and contractions, which I wasn’t having at all with Bellamy. This was a new hospital for us, and I had
heard that other women had to wait for their epidural once they wanted it
because the anesthesiologist was busy helping other patients. I wanted to put my name down on whatever
waiting list they had so that I didn’t have to sit in pain for who knows how
long once I determined I wanted it! She said it would probably take about an
hour for anything to happen with my contractions. Well she was wrong. Haha! I don’t know if my
body just responds really well to the Pitocin or what, but it seems like once
they start me on it, it doesn’t take but a few hours until I start pushing. Within what seems like 15 minutes to a half
hour I was having painful contractions.
I remember watching the movie, trying to concentrate but being in real
pain. I felt embarrassed after such a short amount of time to be asking for the
epidural, but they were just as painful if not more than my natural
(non-induced labor) labor contractions with Beckett. I told her I wanted the epidural , expecting
that I would have to wait at least 30 minutes. Thankfully the anestisiologist
came in quickly and administered the good stuff. J
Whenever anyone asks me what the
epidural feels like, I always say it feels like when your tooth is being
numbed, but it’s your back. For me it is kind of a weird, achy feeling as they
are administering it, but not painful.
Everyone has their own opinions and/or experiences with epidurals, but this was my third one, and I've always had great experiences. Love em'! :) After that, I was able to get some sleep on and off. I would be awakened
by Mama, Emilee and Colt laughing throughout the next few hours on and off.
Unlike University Community Hospital where I delivered Cash and Beckett, St.
Joe’s only had ONE chair in the room. I think we asked for a second chair to
accommodate my mother and sister, but poor Colt was out of luck. I remember him
trying to make a pallet on the floor of the hospital room so he could lay down
at one point, until my sister brought it to his attention that there have
surely been many very disgusting things on that floor over time. The nurse came in a little while after the
epidural and I had progressed to about 3-4cm.
This wasn’t much progress, so in my mind, I was thinking it may be a
long night/morning. They broke my water,
and then eventually I fell back asleep. I
slept on and off again, and when I woke up around 9:30-10am I started to feel
sick. I was spitting up a little bit but then I had some gum and felt a little
bit better. The nurse said when I started to feel pressure, to call her in and
she would check me. I told my mom I was
feeling a lot of pressure, and could feel more and more water with each
contraction. I called the nurse in
telling her I was feeling a lot of pressure, and even some pain through the
contractions. I pressed the button to up my epidural and could feel the cold
medicine administering itself into my epidural catheter in my back. The nurse came in and I explained that I was
feeling a great deal of pressure. I could tell she didn’t believe that I was
much farther dilated because it hadn’t been that long since the last time she checked
me. I knew my body though. She checked and said, “Oh yeah, you’re ready! Are
you ready to push?” Of course I was. That is always my favorite part! It sounds
weird but it is such an exciting few minutes when they start wheeling out the
tray with the medical tools on it “just in case”, as well as the infant warmer,
blanket and hat, and pull down the big spotlight directed straight on you. At
that moment, no one else can push that baby out except me. Everyone is
depending on my body to do its job, and everyone is waiting on me. I’m NOT someone
that likes to be the center of attention. EVER. But at that moment, I love
being the one in that bed. Maybe that’s weird. All the necessary people were coming into the
room. My mom, sister and Colt had been there the whole time. The nurse came in
and introduced me to the doctor. She was a doctor in my practice, but at the
other location. I hadn’t ever met her, but she was really nice. As I moved my
legs into “ready position” Colt turned on the playlist he created for me to
push to. Tom Petty “Rebels” was the
first song up. I took a deep breath in
and pushed once really hard. My mom moved my right leg back a tiny bit, and
Bellamy’s head came out. The doctor said, “SHE’S HERE!” I was confused. I
couldn’t tell if she was saying she was really close or what that meant. She said, “One more half push.” I gave one
more small, half push and they laid her on my chest. It was so surreal. One and a half pushes. We didn’t even get to
the end of the first song on that playlist. The doctor laughed because it was so quick. She was ready to see us. Nothing,
nothing, nothing, NOTHING compares to that moment that they hand you your baby.
I will never forget that feeling as long as I live. This little warm, wet,
crying baby is thrashing all over you
and looking to you for comfort. This hospital does something called skin to
skin, where the baby lays on your chest for a long time (maybe 30 minutes to an
hour) after it is born. I cut Bellamy’s cord. Colt is squeamish about that kind
of stuff, so Mama cut Cash’s cord, Sharon (Colt’s mother) cut Beckett’s cord,
and I cut Bellamy’s cord. I don’t know exactly why, but it meant a lot to me
that I was able to do that. Maybe some kind of sentimental thought that I cut
the literal cord that linked her body to mine for 9 months. Maybe the idea that
when she’s 16 and wants to be out with her friends all the time I can say, “I
cut your cord, and I can tie it back up again.” J After that my Daddy came up to see her. They
moved me to mother/baby after about an hour and I got settled in my room.
I wanted to see the boys as soon as they would let me. One of the things that choked me up was how
they came into the room. My in-laws, Buddy and Sharon were there, my parents,
my sister, brother, grandmother (aka Pam Pam), and Aunt Penny were all there,
but they let the boys walk in first and gave them space to meet their sister
without everyone rushing in at once. The boys walked up to the bed with big
smiles on their faces. Honestly I expected that they would be a little bit
scared, or stand-offish but there was none of that. They both walked right over
to me, and wanted to meet their sister. Beckett was really interested in
looking at her. He kept smiling at her,
touching her face, and rubbing her arms and face. They both liked seeing all
her brown hair underneath her hat. They thought her toes were so cute. Cash was
a little bit more concerned with me being in the bed. I could tell he was a little bit worried
about me, although he was still smiling and excited. He kept touching my IV and
asking what it was and why I couldn’t take it off. They both took turns holding
her. It was so much more than I could have hoped for.
It has been almost 4 months since that special day now. I
started writing this post immediately when I came home from the hospital, but
with three babies hanging around, it, like many other things have been pushed
to the back burner. I couldn’t imagine my life without all of the people I have
in it. Colt is literally the answer to every prayer I prayed for the perfect
husband for me. He is such a unique man and my match in every single, most
minute way. My kids are funny. They’re sweet, and smart, and entertaining, and
beautiful and charming, and sometimes naughty but ALWAYS and forever SO
loved. I’ve heard people say, “These are
the best times of our lives and we don’t even know it”, almost as a cautionary
statement to enjoy every season of life. I was thinking about that statement
yesterday while I was nursing Bellamy, and I just thought, “I KNOW it”. This is the best time of my life thus far.
Not to say that the future will never be as great as this or the past was bad,
but I just am really thankful for every part of my life right now. I don’t let
a day go by that I express that to God because I know in the deepest part of my
soul that everything has come from Him.
Thank you to all who read through this long, rambling post.
Although these posts are mostly for my benefit of looking back and reading my
thoughts on things as I was going through them, I love that you care enough to
read as well. Love you all!
